It doesn't seem like that will be possible though (got hubris? check). It's not like this is *all* I listen to - I keep things fresh. Also, I think that because I don't listen to music based on popular trend, but based on whether it moves me, it's timeless. Marked by trends, certainly (synth riffs! 808 warbles!), but if it's good, it's good. My hope is that I will be able to give my kids the gift of enjoying music the way my dad gave it to me. He woke up my musical mind, and we still to this day feed each other pieces of goodness. He has stayed fresh, listening to what's happening now, but he will also always remind me how much I loved Joni Mitchell as a wee one. Speaking of which, I need to give her another good listen.
the Cure... How many times did I write those letters ornately on notebooks, book covers, notes to friends... trying to mimic the script from the cover of The Head on the Door. I remember the moment I first heard that album (when I was 10, one of many musical introductions by my dad), when music suddenly took on a deeper quality for me. And I'll never forget the day I bought Disintegration on cassette. I traced the shapes on the cover endlessly through the shiny plastic.
I've noticed that lots of people love(d) the Cure and count them as pivotal in shaping their musical taste. I've also noticed that, of these folks, everyone's favorite album is different. Mine is The Head on the Door (with Disintegration a nostalgic second and Pornography an mood-based second). I'm curious: What are yours?
I am also inspired by Amy's amazing sea creature-baroque line art back piece, which is a cover of her "spring break in college" tattoo. I've been wanting to get my "I'm 18 and I'm getting a tattoo" tattoo covered for a long time, and it looks like Amy's is in about the same place mine is. I had thought a horizontal design across my lower back was the way to go, but I really like the idea of something that goes up that curve from my waist to my mid-back. Time to start working on that design. I want something line-art ish, and might incorporate the basic metaphor into a background for my arm tattoo as well.
On the drive there and back, I listened to Mylo a LOT. There is a song, Sunworshipper, that has this sample that refrains over and over again. Not my favorite song on the album, but it made sense. A paraphrase: "I'd had the college, the making money, the material trip. I wanted to find a new way, so I just took off on my bicycle." It made sense.
I've been practicing my breathing - not that I'm doing a rigorous practice, there are no lessons I'm following - but a simple practice of catching myself holding my breath and remembering to breathe. It's noisy and I still fear that it's disruptive, or unattractive, or annoying to someone. But I'm breathing even if it sounds labored and weird. I deserve to breathe, dammit.
I've been walking or skating. Not religiously - not every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but when i feel like it, which seems to be often enough.
I've hired cleaning help in the form of a cool woman named K, and it feels amazing to have a clean house - I mean *really* clean (and we all know about my standards for cleanliness). I'm grateful and completely impressed. I'm thrilled, actually. it's a huge weight off. I had no idea how much my inability to keep up with my home has been draining me.
Speaking of taking huge weights off, I'm actively practicing not stressing out. My body finally told me it isn't going to take more of my shit, in the form of three weekends with at least one day debilitated with what I can only describe as a complete nervous system shutdown. A stress hangover, if you will. I am not binding myself into time corners by seeing 20 minutes open and trying to cram 40 minutes worth of my to-do list into it. Things are falling through the cracks, but they are small things. And amazingly, the big things are working much better, plus the sky is not falling.
I've started a cleansing diet, necessitated by finally recognizing a health issue I've had for over a year now and talking about it with my new naturaopath (not going to talk about it here though). We're fighting it aggressively initially with some drugs, and hoping to maintain any results with diet and stress reduction. This health issue is yet another way my body has been telling me to pay attention, and I finally am.
All of this has resulted in me feeling *good*, really good, for a day or two now. I have no illusions that life will be tra-la-la from now on, but at least there is reprieve from the endless worry, all of my cells heightened into fight or flight at all times. At least there are times of feeling truly comfortable that I hope continue to build upon themselves.
I guess I'm kind of grateful for getting older and not being able to take the level of abuse I've put my poor body through. I love you, body. Thank you for making it through it all.
Just wanted to remember.
My capability outpaces my experience.
This, and the impatience I have with my lack of experience, pretty much sums up my life.
And then today, on Vashon, Boots kept licking my face as a funny way of kissing me- he called it a cat kiss. So of course I licked him back.
This is kind of fun.
Funny story #1: Yesterday a coworker (not *the* coworker) stopped by my desk to tell me I rock. I was totally moved! So I (seated) reached out and just hugged him (standing). This meant that I basically buried my head in his belly, and it was, yep, awkward - but heartfelt. It just meant so much to me in that moment, and luckily he took it that way.
Watch out, world. Unaccustomed to loving appropriately, I'm launching my love on y'all.
Now, I just need to figure out how to edit the videos... you know, rotating, adding titles and a better sound track.
As of today, Lookout Pass (the hairier of the two I'll be traversing) is looking pretty OK. I actually hate driving in this worse than driving in snow, because of the unpredictability. It's usually hovering just at or below freezing, you never know where there's going to be something that's *actually* frozen, and managing the endless road splatter on the windshield drives me nuts.
But I am most definitely counting my blessings.
Think I'm going for a walk nowThere are some rough parts to driving to Montana, especially when it's been snowing in the passes, but I can't fucking wait to hit the road. I want to get out of here, get out of my life, relate to nothing but the feel of the road, my gas tank, and my bladder.
I feel a little unsteady
I don't want nobody to follow me
'Cept maybe you
I could make you happy you know
If you weren't already
I could do a lot of things
And I do
Tell you the truth I prefer
The worst of you
Too bad you had to have a better half
She's not really my type
But I think you two are forever
And I hate to say it but
You're perfect together
So fuck you
And your untouchable face
And fuck you
For existing in the first place
And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch
And who am I
Bet you can't even tell me that much
Two-thirty in the morning
And my gas tank will be empty soon
Neon sign on the horizon
Rubbing elbows with the moon
A safe haven of sleepless
Where the deep fryer's always on
Radio is counting down
The top 20 country songs
And out on the porch the fly strip is
Waving like a flag in the wind
Y'know, I don't look forward
To seeing you again soon
You'll look like a photograph of yourself
Taken from far far away
And I won't know what to do
And I won't know what to say
Except fuck you...
I see you and I'm so perplexed
What was I thinking
What will I think of next
Where can I hide
In the back room there's a lamp
That hangs over the pool table
And when the fan is on it swings
Gently side to side
There's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing
I see Orion and say nothing
The only thing I can think of saying is fuck you...
-Ani
I'm invincible
so are you
we do all the things
they say we can't do
we walk around
in the middle of the night
and if it's too far to walk
we just hitch a ride
we got rings of dirt
around our necks
we talk like auctioneers
and we bounce like checks
we smell like shit
still, when we walk down the street
all the boys line up
to throw themselves at our feet
I say I think he likes you
you say I think he do too
go and get him girl
before he gets you
I'll be watching you
from the wings
I will come to your rescue
if he tries anything
it's a long long road
it's a big big world
we are wise wise women
we are giggling girls
we both carry a smile
to show when we're pleased
we both carry a switchblade
in our sleeves
tell you one thing
I'm gonna make noise when I go down
for ten square blocks
they're gonna know I died
all the goddesses will come up
to the ripped screen door
and say,
what do you want, dear?
and I'll say,
I want inside
I say I think he likes you
you say I think he do too
go and get him girl
before he gets you
I'll be watching you
from the wings
I will come to your rescue
if he tries anything
-Ani
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swaylux containing a quote from her that is awesome on so many levels:"no one cares about anything after the sexy has been back and forthed."Thanks for making my day, girl.
Sometimes I think I've totally lost it for dance music, but then I hear something like this and when I'm supposed to be sitting at the computer working, I am bopping around my kitchen. This is the stuff that makes me want to dance. Hard.
I'm always a little shocked by what moves me in this genre - how dark, machine-y, and clinical it is. I somehow mistakenly see myself as someone lighter, a little bit more into the fun stuff, but invariably when I freak out about something it's this cold, spare, clean.
Now my taste in folk music, on the other hand, is...
Fuck. That's dark too.
Audiojack will be here in Seattle at the See Sound Lounge on 5/17. It's on my calendar. Anyone in?
UPDATE: I saw it called tech house on Proton...
- Ariel is getting a lot of recognition for her work on 52 nights unplugged.
- Aron is putting out a record, the culmination of many months of hard work.
- Justin is graduating from UWTC's evening Master's program.
- Joriel is an amazing reflexologist.
- Jessica is hard at work on her degree in Chinese medicine.
- Jenna is resuming her work in massage, and I have had the joy of experiencing what a powerful healer she is.
- Dawn has been working on putting on one conference, and just attended another - a hardcore medical conference on heart surgery techniques.
- Lily has been rocking the world with fire shows as part of Womanipura and Pyrosutra.
- Noah is following his dream of being an information designer in the truest sense.
Oh and there's more, and I'll probably add to this list as I think of things. But holy crap you guys are awesome!
SUNDAY FEB 24
!!Flash Makeout at the Statue of Lenin in Freemont.!!
(Guerrilla art at it's finest.)
The Seattle Flash Makeout will commence at exactly 4:20 p.m.
a song will be played.
lots of people will smooch.
bring your own or share one of ours.
the song will end.
We'll disperse as if...
In Fremont, WA
around the Lenin statue, that man needs some LOVE.
at the corner of 36th and Evanston in Fremont.
sometimes we get drinks after... Sometimes we smooch some more.
Photographers welcome.
